Monday, April 18, 2011

Cheap is my high point, I ain't going any higher. (i have my reasons)

Cheap is my high point, I ain't going any higher. (i have my reasons)

While i'm not particularly proud of this very honest (i'm not being funny) statement, it does make life easier to know, for certain, that you're an arsehole (but can hide it really well, or not). i know i got to try and change, i guess, you know in the we've-to-evolve-into-better-human-beings-as-a-purpose-of-life sort of way, except i don't want to. i mean who're the morally upright beings going to compare themselves to if i evolve. it's like the chimp has to exist for men to know that they got the better deal. besides, i'm not hurting anybody, i swear. if i have a totally biased opinion about an otherwise decent fellow, i keep it to myself. also, who made the rules that decides who's a prick and who's a nice guy. i judged myself based on rules that i learned in the course of my existence, not once did i make a rule and say i have to abide by it. so as fucked up as it is, i'm judging myself because i think other people are judging me because i judge other people. i knew i shouldn't have written this down. forgive me.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

miles davis

been threatening to do this for a while now but never got around to it. but listening to miles davis' bitches brew has inspired me to get off my arse and turn my brains back on (meaning dick off) and get back on the horse (such a pathetic phrase but call me rusty, the clown who just got back on the horse). it's amazing, makes you want to rhyme in dazed drawls, close your eyes, go on to dream a wakeful sleep to dream of great things to do in life, like write a book or be inspired by something. call this a prelude to the inspiration. i've always been a wanderer, my mind rarely resting long enough to make a connection. i've often piss off myself and those around me because of this filthy habit. it also gives me a pseudo sense of a warrior living in a primordial state of existence - call me ronin without a blade (though nothing compared to the hunter-gatherer life i would, in all probability, suck at so much that i'll beg for a glass of beer and a book to pronounce judgement on while trying to regain my senses soaked in the smell of burning meat). the wandering has had a profound effect on my inability to be inspired as well. the thing with inspiration is that i never know when to stop being inspired and start doing something about it. so i time myself to be inspired for a whole 15mins and i'm too drained to make up something of my own, and when i do, it is for too short a time, say 6mins. i get bored half way through my efforts at creation. there is also a question of how i should be inspired - you know write, sing, go out and live, and other such assorted forms of very expected responses. i end up giving up in time to do the next best thing - usually a show on the tele or a much more satisfying piss. i need some serious help. come on, i'm a nice guy and could be a possible nobel prize winning writer.